They came to her when they needed her. For what others could call Friends, she had them. It was more like a use and throw situation maybe? 
It was. Probably. 

She was mostly invisible. Most of the times, they didn’t acknowledge her. She was, say…invisible. And it felt awful. It hurt.

Invisibility wasn’t a boon for her, when other considered it as such. It was a curse.

Buy not always. Not always was she not given any importance. There were times when she was popular. It was when they needed her. When they wanted something from her. 

Those were the times, they wanted to be with her. I mean, why would she give away something to someone who didn’t bother, right?

At a point in her life, life revolved around isolation. 

There was this someone else who once spoke of isolation to her…how she felt isolated. This someone had friends. Like real friends. This someone was acknowledged.

It felt like a slap to the face. She knew isolation better. So much better.

Pull down your defences,

Because they won’t work against me.

I am your beauty,

Believe me.

To me your defences are short,

Those walls aren’t tall.

Bleak, so weak,

Or am I too tough?

When your best defence,

Doesn’t do the worst of the damage,

You know, the truth.

It is a red handed living proof.

How raw that defence you built is.

The key to a strong one

—Is a best offense.

Because, the best defence is,

A good offense.

Sometimes I feel the need to let someone look inside my mind. And tell me what I am. Tell me what I feel.

In simple words. 
Because, I can’t figure myself out. I try, but it’s so complex. The art of figuring someone out. 
» Am I ugly? Or do people say that because they’re jealous. 

» Am I loved? Or is it what they fake around.

» Am I wanted? Or do they pretend to like my presence.

» Is my presence needed? Or they don’t even know that I am right here.

» Am I invisible? Or do they not see me on purpose.

»Do I hear people talking behind my back? Yes.

» Does it hurt? Because it stings like a bitch.

» Am I okay? Or am I pretending to be.

» Do I cry? Or is that me being weak?

» Is it all worth it? Or am I just wasting my time?

» Is time going to heal? Or is it going to give up on me.

» Am I dead? Sometimes, I wish I was…

———–

#BeRealBeYou. Because otherwise, it hurts.

💥 “We keep the faith preserved for ourselves, what we were meant to keep just to stay on the high pedestal we always stood on. 
For beauty is not on the skin, but believe it not not, in the abstract of a person. What runs in the blood, family, people, build us from the scratch.

Every light is one of hope. Every light is a way out of a nightmare. An escape we dearly need. Always. Forever. For those He loves to trouble us, we can do nothing but struggle and fight our path out.”

“I refused to sink. So you threw down an anchor so I would. 
I stood my stand firm. So you did everything so my legs would buckle underneath me.

I spoke with an uncracking voice. So you made me remember every word of regret that ever escaped me.
I tried to make a difference. So you became every obstacle in my way.”

Y’know A time when you hit the rock bottom? Feel low? Everything feels useless. Worthless perhaps? 

We all hit it at sometime. And they all say that standing up again is what counts. It does. 

But you know, it’s one of the most toughest things to do. It takes effort. Alot of effort. Just to stand again.

Sometimes, it feels to just quit. It starts looking meaningless. And then everything’s just slipping out of your hands. Every thought starts containing a doubt. 

But y’know, that Guy up there planned good things for you. So just…just hang in there. 

Good things will happen.                                (I have my fingers crossed.)

I would shade my eyes witha glimmer of fierceness.

I would color my lips with a

matte of boldness.

I would wear my flaws to perfection everyday.

▶ For the clouds were always so evident. And so clear. I could Always see a silver line on the edge but you couldn’t.

For those obscure reasons, I would never come to know. You tried to explain, but I am not of a complex understanding. It went over my head. 
That silver lining was so so evident to me. From where I stood, it shone under the stars and it was glinting it’s lustre under the light. 

Because the silver lining rested upon the edge of the cloud, where the cloud could see it perfectly with a naked eye. But never once, did the lining acknowledge it’s beauty. The cloud would tell her stories of her beauty only to be returned with an unbelieving gaze. 

For I was the cloud, and you, the silver lining ◀

Y’know the insane 20 seconds of courage. I had that, only for a little while longer. 

I listened blindly to the impulses, that begged me to do something stupid. And in tgat spur of a moment with the adrenaline rushing through my entire proof of existence, and that insane courage inside my mind, I did it. I did something stupid.

And what scared me shitless was tgat it could make me. Or it could completely shatter me. And I didn’t know which one was it.

But for what was worth, I did it.

I kissed him.